08.12.15 "The Eeyore Effect"

I've been M.I.A.

So much has changed in just 4 months.  In May I was surrounded by family and friends celebrating my graduation from law school.  I flew from Minnesota to Virginia the day after the blessed ceremony and then boarded a boat to the Bahamas.

The following week, I entered the 3-month torture that was bar prep.  All legal professionals and mentors warned me that this summer would be the worst of my life.  Of course, I approached the summer with a sense of optimism and caution, but the summer was awful.   (Shoutout to my study partner and new buddy, Bre, for weathering the storm with me). 

Now, I have to take one more test to ensure my legal licensure, I have to make the final move out of my Minnesota apartment, and I have to find a temporary job while I wait on my October results.

In just 4 months, I went from celebrating the pinnacle of my academic career to stressing and breaking down almost daily.  Here are some lessons that I'm mastering in my summer of discontent.

View fullsize

Lesson 1 : Not everyone will understand how demanding your journey is, and it's not your job to make them.

Getting a Juris Doctorate is hard.  Studying for the bar was harder.  I had family who understood that my 8-10 hour days of study would have to morph into 10-12.  I had friends who knew that small tasks such as answering a text were difficult for me to manage.  I also had people who understood that I was working harder than I ever had before AND that I was making no money.  This meant that I couldn't go out or meet up.  But since I was spending the summer in Virginia for the first time in YEARS, there were some who didn't understand why I couldn't help with this event or come out to this party.  I became SO FRUSTRATED with these people and then I decided, "who really has the time?" I was running low on energy as is, so I decided that they would just never understand.  That was (and still is) okay with me.

View fullsize

Lesson 2 : When people show you who they are, believe them (THE FIRST TIME)

I know you've seen this quote on your auntie's facebook page in meme form, but take heed.  There's a relationship in my life that has been waning on me for years.  It's affected me financially, emotionally, and physically.  I've given this person chance after chance and defended this person for years, but consistently this person has showed a wanton and reckless disregard for my life (bar reference).  It sucks, especially since I've pretty much gone out of my way for this person for so long.  I'm more disappointed in myself for giving chances to someone who didn't deserve them at the cost of my health and progression.  We've all been here before but again, it's really important to ask yourself, "who really has the time or energy?" Believe, girl or you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

View fullsize

Lesson 3 : Don't drink or overeat when you're in a bad mood.

I love the Lord. He heard my cry.  One of His many blessings is wine.  Merlot, Cabernet Savignon, Pinot Noir, Pinot Grigio, CHARDONNAY!!! There's is nothing like a glass of wine after a long day or with friends at dinner.  HOWEVER, wine is NOT to be used as an escape from life's problems.  I almost made this mistake (thank God I had to use my money for other things this summer) but drinking while down can lead to addiction, over indulgence, and abuse.  The same is true for food.  Find another outlet - prayer, yoga, working out - but leave the wine for good times!

View fullsize

Lesson 4: No, you do not have to be an optimist. But pessimism and pity-parties are destructive.

It is dangerous to allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself.  I have been battling the Eeyore cloud all summer.  Now this doesn't mean that you cannot feel sad, but constantly harboring on an attitude of irreparable despair (another bar reference)... GIRL! Come on now!

A good way to refute this is to keep people who are positive, supportive, and honest around you AND also on speed dial.  My friends have been so supportive.  My family has been so patient.  I couldn't ask for a better support system.  When you're going through a trying phase, I would not suggest reaching out to new people (unless they are certified professionals - which in that case, YES!).  This is the time to reflect on the people who were there for you when you were shooting in the gym (Sidenote: Champagne Papi got SO FOINE this summer).  This is the time to go to people who understand the person that you are, your goals, your dreams, your situation, and/or your heart.  Write personal notes to yourself! Emphasize positive affirmations and think about the many times where God has carried you through! You WILL get through this!

View fullsize

Lesson 5 : Believe in yourself and take this thing STEP by STEP.

Kelly Cutrone (Founder of the PR Company, People's Revolution, and the strong-arm behind your favorite NY fashion week shows) stated, "If I think about my life as a whole, I become COMPLETELY overwhelmed.  So I really have to take things as they come."

It's kinda like the scene in the movie where two people are climbing the mountain, and the more adventurous character says, "Don't look down!" You DO NOT have to have it ALL figured out today.  You don't.  Do NOT beat yourself up.  Instead commit to completing a task, finish it, and move on.  Keep that momentum going.  One victory produces positive reinforcement for the next project, and the next project.   You will get there! I promise.